The first thing I would like you to hear is that I’m sorry. I’m sorry that your husband has sinned against you. He has committed adultery. Your world has changed, but please know that its not over. Proverbs 3:5 reads, Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.
What do you do now? My prayer is that you will continue to pray, trust and engage in a Godly community. Your husband has a lot of work ahead of him. And believe it or not, Almighty God has an amazing plan to heal your marriage. This means He’ll also ask you to do a few things when you’re ready as well, so that you may have the support you’ll need through this season in your life.
What should you do if you just found out that your boyfriend and/or fiancée looks at pornography? Break off the relationship immediately! He has a lot of work to do before he can be trusted into a healthy God-honoring relationship. He must be willing to do certain things to start the healing journey.
If he says he loves you then he needs to prove his love. His behavior is a thermometer for your relationship. Please note that the grace of Almighty God is for salvation while obedience to God’s Word is for repentance and healing. If he is unwilling to do the work needed, this is a huge red flag that means that he will do even less work when you are married. No matter how far along you are in this relationship, the pain of breaking it off will only get become more difficult the longer you let it go.
The good news is that if he is willing to do the work, and you are too….then this issue will make your relationship stronger. Allow Almighty God to lead and don’t dismiss the quiet small voice of the Holy Spirit. Please also know that you cannot get through this sin by yourselves. Reading a book together will not fix this problem. Sexual sin is only healed in community where we learn to accept and give love. We cannot give and receive love when we are in isolation, let alone give and receive Divine Love.
Women Who Struggle with Pornography:
The first thing I would like to you to hear as your Brother in Christ is that I love you. I am so grateful you are here for help. I also want you to know that you are not alone. Pornography use among our Sisters in Christ is at epidemic levels.
Please allow us to direct you toward a dear ministry partner that specifically deals with women’s pornography issues. Crystal Renaud is the founder of Dirty Girls Ministries. She has an online community to join, books to read and you can also listen to her interview by clicking here.